Over the next several months I will share blog posts on my experience becoming a mommy of twins. The blog series, Becoming a Mommy of Two at 30 will touch on topics such as coping with change, dealing with insecurities and redefining who I am.
I can remember a time when my main priority was making sure Big Boi (my dog) was walked in the morning, fed and taken out in the evening. My life revolved around my dog, career and social life. The job that I prayed to have one day came to fruition. That same year, God blessed me with an even better job opportunity in the beauty industry. I bought my first car and partied in Puerto Rico and Aruba. Then fate happened and I met the man I asked God to send. We moved in together and had an amazing New Years Eve. And then, we received the most exciting, yet unexpected news — we were pregnant with twins! My world was turned upside down. Suddenly, things I once couldn’t live without seemed unnecessary when my babies became priority numero uno. I learned some hard lessons when I became a mom. The biggest lesson was that I had to prioritize.
When we found out I was pregnant, the first thing running through my mind — what do I need to do. Of course, you have your mom to give you an idea, but I have a Type A personality. Naturally, I’m a planner and usually write everything down. I even bought the Productivity Planner for prioritizing my days. So to ease my anxiety, my boyfriend, or fiancé as my grandmother refers to him, bought my first self-help guide, What to Expect When You’re Expecting. It’s a great resource for expectant moms. It’s broken down into a month-by-month guide as pregnancy progresses. You get the normal run down of what’s happening to your body and testimonials from moms. Of course, there were obvious priorities in the book, but as my pregnancy progressed a few of these became very clear.
No Drinking Whatsoever
One of the priorities mentioned in the book and common knowledge to most is NO ALCOHOL. Some doctors (not my doctor) are okay with moms having wine. I had a few moments during my pregnancy when I wanted a drink. Keep in mind, we found out a week or so before Zulu Ball and Fat Tuesday — ugggggggghhhhhh
My Time Isn’t My Time Anymore
I’m on top of their schedule. They eat every 3 hours and then they normally take a nap. In between feedings and naps, we play on the floor. By 9 pm, when they normally go to sleep, I’m normally too tired to do anything productive. I often turn down social events, not because I don’t want to see anyone but because I have two little girls that need me. Sure, I can go out for drinks at 5, but then my anxiety levels are on 1000% because I’ll worry they’ll get off schedule, they’ll be up longer and as a result, I’m up later when I get back home. No Bueno.
I have to remind the boyfriend of this all the time. Whenever I have a spare moment, I focus solely on the tasks that need to be done. For the sake of your sanity, you can’t waste time. For example, if Mila wakes up first, I warm up her bottle and immediately feed her. This way, if Lola wakes up within the next 30 minutes, Mila is already changed, fed and content. That means, no tears, mommy doesn’t have to hear those high-pitched screams of agony and all is well. Everyone is happy!
Sleep When You Can
I’ve been told to sleep when they sleep, but there’s always something to do. If they’re sleeping, most likely I’m making milk, washing bottles, washing clothes, working on The Black Professional or taking care of personal matters. And when they go to sleep for the night, I’m up watching the shows I missed during the day. It normally takes me a while before I go to sleep. It’s currently 1:00 am. I know, I need to go to sleep.
Clean the House When You Can
It seems like my life is always in a balancing act. I do things that fit into the girls’ schedule. If it can fit cleaning in between a nap, then I’m game. I’ve learned that cleaning the house is something you do at the end of the day when everyone is sleep, even the boyfriend.
Shower When You Can
When my daughters were newborns, sometimes my number one task was, “take a shower.” And sometimes, that was the only thing I accomplished in a day! We’re now at the stage where the girls are little busy bodies, so if I want to shower, I have to squeeze it in between naps. That’s if both nap at the same time. That’s also dependent on if I feel something else is a little higher on the totem pole. For instance, I needed to change car insurance companies. That took the place of my shower one morning. Luckily the girls slept through their entire afternoon nap, so I was able to take a shower then.
This is more of a benefit for my boyfriend. If I don’t cook, we’re eating Domino’s Pizza or Popeyes Chicken. Meal planning has been my saving grace. So my routine is to take a look at Pinterest and save pins to my Dinner for Bae board and then create a grocery list based on that plan. Before the babies, I would cook very rarely. Now I do it all the time. Meal planning literally makes me feel 100% better. I feel more accomplished.
It’s amazing how much motherhood can change you. I know as the girls get older, my priorities will change. Being a mom means putting your kid’s needs ahead of your own and I’m ok with that.