Make Them A Priority.
It doesn’t matter how hard it may seem to find time; make it. Spending time with your significant other not only has to be a “thing to do”, it has to be a priority. Set aside dedicated time each week to make sure you are giving them your undivided attention. It doesn’t have to be hard. You know the things that they like, and you know what will make the relationship feel brand new. Make time to do them.
Do The Little Things.
There is an old wise tale about a ship that sets sail, and with just a two degree variance, ends up on the other side of the world over time. Your relationship is that ship. You are the captain that must keep it on course. Doing the little things, well, they’re the two degrees.
If you do not do the little things that keep your relationship on track, you will look around and in short amount of time wonder how you got so far off track.
I am often asked where to start with this concept. If you need some ideas, try one of these: leave a surprise note laying around the house, send a random text that simply says “Hey, you look good today”, or screenshot a quote that reminds you of you mate and send it. All of these things can be done in less that 30 seconds. Remember tip one and make time to do them to stay on course.
Begin And End The Day Together.
Okay, before we dive in here, let’s address the elephant in the room: Relationships all have their quirky movements. I get it. It’s idealistic to assume that you are on the exact same sleeping schedule as your significant other. Most of the time, there are a lot of variables in the way: work, kids, chores, more kids, more work… did I mention work and kids?
If you are lucky enough to wake up and go to sleep with your mate, make a conscious effort to say “good morning” to start the day and “good night” to close out the day at the very LEAST.
Even if you are on complete opposite schedules (and lucky enough to have the bed to yourself), make a conscious effort to send a text or face time for a few minutes. It’s just as effective, and only takes a few seconds. Even if they can’t respond, the text message will be there waiting for them when they can get to it.
The important thing to remember here: beginning and ending the day together is an exercise of communication more so than anything else. When you begin and end your day simply communicating with your mate, you initiate a subtle practice of daily communication. If you are in constant communication, it makes the next step even easier.
Talk Honestly About Your Problems.
One of the main ways to keep your relationship as fresh as that new pair of shoes is to call out when it is feeling old and dusty. This is where honest communication comes into play.
First, you have to be honest with yourself.
You know when the relationship hasn’t been nutured. You know when you haven’t made time for your mate. You know when this are off course. You know when you haven’t been communicating as you should.
When those moments come (and they will), it important to talk openly and honestly about your problems. Most of the time, you will find that just like the shoe, the relationship just needed to be cleaned off a bit for that “new shoe” feeling to come back to you.
Hint: The lack of the “new shoe” feeling in most relationships usually come from not doing the first three steps.
Meet With A Kiss, Part With A Kiss.
I saved this one for last because it’s the sweetest, and easiest. It’s as simple as it sounds, but the meaning is much deeper.
When you engage in small psychical acts with your mate, it reinforces the idea of intimacy in your relationship. You have to remember that in a committed relationship, you both have openly vowed to only be intimate with each other. Kissing and touching your mate is one of the main differences between the “new shoe” feeling and the “old shoe” feeling.
A little kiss upon meeting is a reminder that you’ve gone out into the world and have made it back home. A kiss upon leaving is a sentiment that quietly frames the way you leave things.
If you are really adventurous, experiment by adding a hug into this mix to really see the sparks fly.